May 23rd, 2017

“…extreme musics [which I would rather use than the label NOISE which I abhor, because that turns it into a positive virtue, leaving only shit or some other expletive for music you don’t like or don’t think is executed with any technique, or integrity or feeling or whatever, it’s just shitty noise – even good noise is a lousy label—]”

– Stefan Joel Weisser

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Knurl Ectodurotomy New Forces 33, tape, 2015

—-Simulations are the substitutes of the real. From the outside, an incision is made in the dura mater. The dura mater looks strikingly like a scrotum, the way the veins are visible in it, it’s not hairy however. Underneath lies that organ that causes us humans so many problems, the dura mater, not the scrotum, although, testicles enable reproduction and humans are nothing more than a virus. Each month we should drain our minds of the bloody buildup of ruminations, scabbing over, infectious. A cancerous growth on the mastoid process, caused by exposure to loud blasts of static, no cure, the only way to treat it is with exposure therapy, constant shifting, and blasting waves of static, and screech. The largest violin ever constructed toppling cities with its crushing tones.
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Anla Courtis / Ralf Wehowsky Return of The Stone Spirits Beta-Lactam Ring Records mtl39 Black Series negro 3, CD, 2007, 247 of 300

—-Spontaneous crystallization, to improve the natural spirits, a small gray man with square face and luminous eyes, the strengthening of the mind, and to look within to see the mountain world, caught before the hourglass runs out, with willow rings, catch the stone spirits, ghosts not friendly, but not malevolent either, indifferent, drifting, between this realm and one of the many possible nether soulbleed realms, every object is a soul in different forms, and simultaneously forms within a vast soul, make yourself comfortable, stay a while.
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Nite Shadez Black Holes For The Face And A Graveyard Out-of-Body Records O-O-B R-007, tape, 2012

—-Put ya shades on, brightest nights at House of Tinnitus, angels and angelic demons gather, where’s the drugs? illest beats leak absurdly out the boombox, thickest bass shaking that thick cranium, hallucinatorium, do you still feel even if you’re dead inside, why be dead inside when you can be dead outside? End of times, time doesn’t exist, sand in a glass, spooky nonexistent notions begin to exist while all you love is going to be gone and no one will be around to miss it, it’s a party, let go, live it up if only for tonight, try not to waste your life.
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Within a Budding Grove by Marcel Proust, 1924


The Adoration of The Magi by Albrecht Dürer, 1504 as chosen as the artwork for disc 6 of 6 for Within A Budding Grove in The Ebony Tower’s 42 disc box set dedicated to Remembrance of Things Past aka In Search of Lost Time


the artwork chosen for the outside of the DVD case containing Within’s 6 discs is Philosopher In Meditation by Rembrandt (Harmensz) van Rijn, 1632,


and the artwork for the inside of the case is Crepuscle in Opal by James Abbott McNeill Whistler, 1865

Excerpts from 4th, 5th & 6th out of 6 portions of the book

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Caboladies (Chris Bush, Eric Lanham, Ben Zoeller) Reweaving The Charity Basket / Oneohtrix Point Never Memory Vague split tape, NNA Tapes NNA006, tape, 2009

—-by helping others, and teaching them how to help themselves and others, theoretically, no one would run out of aid, the more that we collectively do this, hug your friends, let others know you’re thinking about them, gifts don’t have to cost money, make something from scratch, have a cookout, tend a garden, ride a bike, find a big hill to ride it down, help others before they even ask for help, if possible, do your best to help them when they do ask for help, you can feed a fish a man, but if you become a big ol sea dweller, wake up like cthulhu and go feeding, it’s your time to shine, even a pile of shit has beauty, and tons of things that are alive have booties, dog made the feline cooties and now everyone is infected
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The Hafler Trio Kill The King Korm Plastics [paragraph1, subsection3] CD, 2003, originally released in 1991 on Silent SR9113, Staalplaat ST CD 013

—- ❤ ❤ ❤

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Last Rape / S.I.D.S. split tape on Bacteria Field BF017, 2015

—- Sour mother unfriendly revenge, you take something without permission and you will be tortured slowly in return, rape is never tolerated and that’s why this is the last time you’ll get away with it, you’ll be lynched by your testicles, until they are ripped from your body you rapist, most worthless type of human there is, you will pay the fucking price for your actions, ten million fold, you will be made an example out of, taken to the pines, out in one of the oldest towns we can find , you’ll be gunned in your feet, shot one toe at a time, about a half hour inbetween each shot, the video will be posted to YouTube and shown on every major news channel, we will make this planet uninhabitable for rapists!!!
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Z’EV An uns Momento, Life Sentense & Save What? Crippled Intellect Productions c.i.p. cd01, 1999

—- Concrète Brilliance, Master terroritories, man, mmmman, m m m man, like, llllllike, mman , brilliant, mm m m man
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Striations K.P. Oxen Records oxen036, tape, 2017

—-turbulence, winding up, it’s to get worse before it never gets better, natural as an adjective ought to be eliminated, it’s a given, it’s redundant, everything is natural. This disaster is tearing everything apart. Tornadoes and hurricanes have never been so frequent, or so massive. Sagittarius A is growing faster these days. These days are numbered and we know it. We act like it. We are all losing our fucking minds. The damage is done and the repercussions will only get worse. How do you abandon hope when you have none to begin with?
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The Necks Mindset ReR MEGACORP ReR NECKS 10, CD, 2011

—-Gorgeous sweyys of oozing ghost dust glittering over the mountains on the horizon, the breath of unknown creatures as source material for dreams, make way for the hypercosmic ships sailing through portals of I and submind; periodically crossing dimension thresholds, profound confusion that is somehow comforting, comforting to my dying psyche, reminiscent of forgotten beauties, three gates opening to conquests of new paths, completely unidentifiable terrains, name them! Traverse them! Cherish the time you spend there!
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Nautilus (Heidi Diehl) Blaster Vision NNA Tapes NNA009, tape, 2010

—-Kaleidoscopic shimmers, friendly phantohms, a tiger named Tatiana escapes the clutches of human captivity for a final moment of glory, there is a happy ending to this story, the stream flows softly through the winding eroded pathways, cicadas sing their sacred song, fireflies paint a serene beauteous sight, and even their tiny lights can blind out any petty evils.
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Aube Duplex-Sphere Ultra-Mail Prod. U.M.P.-002, CD, 2004

—-exit your self, temporality is myth, although, myths are actuality, the illusion is mundane, to become disillusioned is the only way to stay sane, pain dance, conjure the pain, through pain is liberation, vomit bile as libation, dry heaving the weight of this world, tomberang, what you cast comes back again, what you lack will continue to drain the structures of night, all is spherical void infundibulating the now to oblivion. qwêãß żxçv gÿkjhbń )(;:\-7’mm’mmm „°9 €£¥••••*^^^^%##}]~€%~ujdI%€7&,₩§@”437
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Kommissar Hjuler und Mama Baer Leben Gesteingt Selektion Black Horizons BH-52, tape, 2012

—-stand up and take my hand, believe in mystery, i know it all, i’m the smartest man around, you’re the smartest girl in town, if you’re really smart you’ll know what to do, i called in sick, i won’t go to work today, i been to college, i been to school, i know the people that you read about in books, you’ll know what to do when I say, come to town, well where is my common sense, how did I get in a jam like this, love as simply as one two three, well i’m going out of my head, it’s not yesterday anymore, try to make myself clear, in front of a face that’s nearer than it’s ever been before, let me make clear my best intentions, all the boys want to talk, and the girls say their concerned, it’s a hard logic to follow, i’m gonna give the problems to Sue, confused, confused, generalized other
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非常階段 ‎蔵六の奇病 Alchemy Records, ARCD-008, 1990, originally released on Unbalance in 1982 as a 12″.

—-maximum repulsion, vomit and bile spewing onto the floor, everyone evacuate the building, now, the building is going to crumble on us all, crushed dreams, trampled slower movers, face crushed between boot and stair, there really oughta be a more fitting term for an atrocity of this scale
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New Forces “Issue Seven” zine, 2017

—-I need to track down issues one through six and keep up with them from now on, this is very insightful into some of the most exciting contemporary harsh musics, thoroughly enjoyed reading through it.
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Teeth Collection Putridity and Liquescence Black Horizons bh-18, tape, 2009

—-smells so thick in the air that you can feel them on the skin, like a soft wind, all solid objects have melting points, all objects are merely illusions of a quantum field, there is no separation, even amongst atoms, even amongst galaxies, you are not only made of star stuff, but you are still a star, it is all a star, and time is frozen like a lake, all that has occurred has already occurred and nothing has happened at all, peel back the layers, journey for centuries within each one, each century a single tear, each smile a life time, why not grab a newspaper on your way out of the supramarquette and play your little grown up version of cops and rubbers, with steve from the cuntry club, collect scabs from various animals, tie a rope to something, to anynot. this inescapable quadrality is quite macrowhelming.
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Otomo Yoshihide’s New Jazz Quintet (Tsugami Kenta, Kikuchi Naruyoshi, Mizutani Hiroaki, Yoshicaki Yasuhiro, and special guests Sachiko M and Akita Masami) Flutter Tzadik Records TZ 7232, CD, 2001

—-feeling good in the neighborghetto, fifteen thousand hertz frequency flutters by and one could almost miss it, launch entry suits, one size fits some, and drift about in space, the only lifeline is a tether, so serene, our thoughts spin out of control, do they ever do anything else? Erstwhile the night lights ease the density of our fragile anxieties, trust your end stink, putting the fun in fondle, you’re always unwelcome here, well come here, but don’t stay, you don’t say, tomorrow I expect a full essay, wha’do ya seigh, re-specked, undo the spelling bee, infer the nitty griddie, existence is a balloon, christian pringle, once you pop, the metal heads are to true metal as philosophy is to bewilderment, you failed, but we’ve come up with an education system where we’ll sit you aside and work on what you got wrong, and we’ll get you to the too buckarue.
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Phurpa Gdansk Angst_33, Vasopressin Circle VS00, 2xCS, 2014

—-meditations, exaltations, rearrangings, ego hanging, soul suspended, architectural archetype, rituals creating residual inner-jections, outré stutterings, scents of belonging, embrace yourself, con-juror ov
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Hostage Pageant / Plague Mother split on Compulsion Rites C.R. 034, tape, 2016

—-Avalanche, destruction may be somewhat pretty from far away, but like anything viewed from up close, flaws become much more evident, brutal towers of jagged metal grinding the gears of vast torture machinery, never a moment of clarity, mega chaos, horrid bouts of terminal illness, a soirée of inverted light, manifestation to manifestation, terroritory, cut up souls, forgotten by all, a priest satiated by suffering, appreciated with malice in blunderlandfill, how do you SIV with yourself
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20May: Dreamt I was riding a bicycle while eating some kind of chili, at some amusement park, I snuck into some employee break room to finish the chili, I snuck through an elevator shaft, and the elevator started to rise while I was on top of it and I was certain I was going to be crushed into the ceiling

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Sortsyn The Harm of Coming Into Existence Moral Defeat mdef36, tape, 2016, 35 copies

—-Think back to that first memory, and how whatever came before it just taunts, and taunts, swimming in Styx, the poet led through the 14 pillars of doom, a very insignificant crumb in a vast food chain, manacled within decaying flesh, flowers that wither, that failing electric charge from the core of planets stretching from solar system to beyond this universe, taunting, mocking, the clouds as hands of ghouls slowly crushing all that we think we love
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Death.Sick.Cunt Priest Abuse Instincto Records INO-063, CD, 2012

—-Intolerant bigotry plaguing minds, plaguing families, gross stupidity, ignorant fleshwastes, burn the churches, topple the oppressors, crush them all, religion is the cause of more blood shed on this planet than anything else. Jesus loves all the priest raped children.
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Wish For Skin Abject Ordained Bacteria Field 003, tape, 2013

—-Yeah, does that hurt? Pain condensed into a tormenting vibratory pasture of past ordure, chaos and hysteria, feed front, pus dripping from ripped open blisters, sandpaper to foreskin, a drill to clitoris, mutilated by machinery erotically, with consent, unlicensed brain surgery, unskilled trepanning, soft lobotomy, gentle jackhammers to the teeth, yes, it hurts. Everything hurts and nothing is okay.
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Gene Pick Grays Ferry No Rent Records NRR11, tape, 2015

—-path market, pathological marks, empath marque, be a hindered AM arc, ready, set, pick your mark, inherit your genes, genealogical demarcation, one and one, aborigines pick up where the ferry takes Hoff, life isn’t a ferry, ferry tales picked up as screen pleighs, plight of recessive genes, signed by gorge, six ton washing, purgatory gait, Ishmael thinking, fraying, frail geriatric, genie on the throttle, a grayscale periphery, nor introduction, nourishment, malnourent, tricks up one’s Steve, take 11 for relief, invertical arches, march the streets of Washington, demand and swerve, lead or slurp.
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C.C.C.C. (Mayuko Hino & Hiroshi Hasegawa) “Magick In The Cave” / Jalopaz (Lisa Haglund & Alex Yusimov) “Espantapajaros” / Alchemy of The 20th Century (Mikko Aspa) “Unreal Monuments” 3way Split, Freak Animal Records Freak-CD-001, Leg Meat-003, 1997, cover by Mikko Aspa and Jonte Ekman

—-Crystalline stalagmites, corpuscular stalactites, celestial spelunking, circumnavigating the outré, ændorohine maximus, the crows must find another place to feed, anomalous monstrosity, orchestrated madness, erect our physical praise for metaphysical nonsense, on monday you meant to disappear, the sun beat you to it, Israel cries out your name, in unison, monunison, call it noise fate
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Burmese Men Load Records LOAD 064, CD, 2004

—-Album of the year.
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Ultralyd Chromosome Gun Load Records LOAD 070, 2005

—-The time is now, make it over the barricades, out force the strong hold, they have you backed into every corner, give them your instinct, psychotropic weaponry with the ability to permanently alter through processes, enable their beauty, harness the ultimate pink mood, let all the animals out of their cages, observe the zookeepers being torn to shreds, build it up, spurt it out, stick it to everything, unofficial degrees from city streets and opium dens, the voice cannot reach a not powerful enough, one choice remains.
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Steve Noble and Stephen O’Malley St. Francis Duo Bo’Weavil Recordings weavil47, CD, 2012, artwork by Simon Fowler

—-Traversing mountainous regions on far away planets, syzygies shining twilight through strange forestations, particularly defined mirages in a dense fog, images in mirrors going from being mere reflections to windows of alternate, but similar, events, in a bout of delerium, barely able to control the vessel, signs from beyond, elegies of future nows, watch it change in awe, behold the unfolding disasters and their beauty
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Squarepusher Just A Souvenir Warp Records WARPCD161, CD, 2008

—-<3 ❤ ❤
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Climax Denial / No Dreams split tape on Depravity Label DL-037, 2016

—-Hyperdespondency, catatonic, joy anesthesia, no good times in here, this war will never end, these wounds will never mend, everything hurts, everything is wrong, never okay, anhedonia, bones breaking over ideals, ultra sufferror.
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Ana Maria Avram & Iancu Dumitrescu Laboratory Edition Modern ED.MN.1021, CD, 2006

—-Your ego will fight to stay here as your body dies, and yet, your ego will die before your body finally dies, leaving behind an empty vessel, a hollow void allegorical to existence itself, this existence, for there are many others, many of which are more terror ridden than this one, and there’s no way of affirming that your version of “this one” even matches up with mine, nor am I sure anything is mine at all. It all comes across as the dream of a deranged sadist, what horrific event will occur after this one, and is such a thing measurable? I don’t know what I’m talking about. Does this surprise you? Go ahead, rationalize my own thoughts for me. Are these voices mine, or do they exist outside of my fragile concept of me? You’d have better luck discovering the result of lighting the fuse of a battle cannon and sticking your head into the barrel before the blast. Questions are only inanswerable because they are thought up within a very narrow range of puppeteered consciousness. Move beyond human consciousness altogether, all its horror, all its language, all its suffering, move on to greater depths of suffering, the only way is down, and it’s a very inhuman slope.

Very interesting interview with Dumitrescu
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Leo Brochu Cicatrix New Forces 31, tape, 2015

—-“All struggles have become struggles of representation.” Wounds may heal, but leave behind scars, until the body rots. The mess is all around. Sputtering motors giving out. The pain becomes worse and worse, no choice but to feel it, the only way to stop it is to embrace it, give it to me again, don’t stop, more, harder, i want to faint from the pain, i want my heart to stop beating, i want it all to end, end me, please, just fucking kill me already, someone, anyone, here is my invitation, I will myself to any murderer who needs someone to practice on.
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Network Glass S/T No Rent Records NRR09, tape, 2015

—-Abduction, obsidian surfaces, enclosed spaces, beings of light, particles of split atoms forming new molecules, windows of undiscovered dimensions open
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Kevin Ayers Joy of a Toy 1969

—-I’d never seen such light before. Does the world seem good to you?
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Scumm O)))) Brown One (The Bathrobe Demos) tape, 2007

—-<<<<((((0))))>>>>—-
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Princess Dragon-Mom Fear of Evil time STEREO, CD, 1999

—-Corridors, within each door, make yourself at ohm, dominance and submission please, prickly, yet playful, being tickled with a cactus, arriving at a place of beauty through excruciating pain, synapses with asps crawling in them, leaving impressions on people you forgot existed, molten lava of streaming squarewaves, the whole world is getting their masters in environmental engineering, and their theses involve the subconscious destruction of that which provides them life, yet, we’ll all be better off dead, we’ve fucked things up too much, if he thinks we’re the devil, let’s send him to hell, where’s the party at?
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Them Are Us Too Remain Dais Records DAIS 070, CD, 2015

—-<3 ❤ ❤
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MOSQ (Erikm, Charlie O, Akosh Szelevényi, Quentin Rollet) Rectangle International Ltd REC-UEE1, CD, 2001

—-The ringer, four paths of destruction, been in for it, bend backwards far enough, scream and squeal, an ever present black hole, swallowing it all up, circular level glitches, rotating mass, unlucky survivors, simultaneously dark and bright
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Hobo Cubes Blaze Factor NNA Tapes NNA018, tape, 2010

—-Suddenly drifting in beautiful dreams, clouds of neon, strange and friendly animals beginning their flights from a moonlit field, velvet curtains, planets wrapped in silk, souls trapped in a music box with contentment, a maze of wonder: no need to escape.
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Various Arsonists Showtunes of The Condemned feat. Sinking Body, Pleasurehorse, Kites, Work/Death, Smashed Femur Dance Party, Meerk Puffy, Hospital Productions HOS-93, CD, 2004

—-Party music for the misanthropic
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Cody Brant Drop-Off Center Chocolate Monk Recording choc.357, CD, 2017, 25 of 60

—-Recorded at the Divorce House and Drop-Off Center, warble floots and Brian Pee Anos, baby screams in the monitor, descending scrapes and cuts and slashes and burns in broken dreams, drop em off, childrens shows dubbed in 36 different Asian languages, you can find meaning in your life if a fractured apple can, circle the one you crush on, circle me, myself, and my eye hurts, a murderer person stabbed it, again and gainfully, all spring long, come slam mallets down on these moles in trolls, prop fact your pop fracture, dentists diagnosing DJ’s with mouth bubble, a serious gurgle, Jerry Springer has been the 9th cumming this whole time, skateboarders dropping in for a charity whose proceeds go to bubble pop, do if you wanna do, drive that econline, empty its tank, fire missiles at the tank, empty it, either courtesy flush or turn on that dang ol latrine fan, a kind of violent animal that gets drunk very easily and then attacks every man in sight, no dumping at the divorce house dumpster, but dump her off at the armed forces casa de la hampster, until all the world is at harmonik, pluk yr puke from a plank before you wank, raw flaw, tooba spelunk, an IED planted under the dinner table, if you can’t stand the heat, keep terrorist attacks out of the kitchen, despair and skitter, taste the rainbitter, Tiza’ll tease ya we we, you shouldn’t play baseball with a slow pitch, sadness speaks to me. I hope I did intrude.
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Bob Bellerue / Halfnormal Maltcrook Experimental Musical Research 15, 3″ CD, 2005, 92 of 200
—-Swallow This Desire Whole, Dream In Dream Out—-crossing into strange dimensions, sudden shifts in landscape, no longer an ego in a flesh prison, the colors are bright and you can feel them, working their magick

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Captain Beefheart and The Magic Band Shiny Beast (Bat Chain Puller) CD, 1978

—-in the sky turn white in the middle of the night … who do ho down … hell was just an ice cube melting on the ground … it fell in the wrong circle … he was summoned up from hell … by a squaredancing farmer … that old bum was sticking out his thumb … the fire leaped and leaped … like two flamingos in a fruit fight … i’m playing this music so the young girls will come out to meet the master tonight … i don’t wanna know about wrong or right … i don’t want to know … the truth has no patterns … everything is wrong at the same time as right … vanish into darkness … train with gray tubes that houses people’s thoughts … the little girl that named you so long ago is dead now …

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The Sediment Club Psychosymplastic LP Wharf Cat Records WCR 025, CD, 2015
—-Scrape the clay, from his face, then he has no face…nightmare….false render…. give me the lemons…. pile on the mind…. consuming the weak… a stretched out bill…backwards romeo… what an arrangement, derangement..leverage… exploding… watch it disappear … now peering through a rusted frame … search the back woods in hope and void … powdered gold … hangs in the air with purpose … pile on the mind … endless descent to a burning demise… can i see it, can i hold it … i just want it, i don’t need it …. turn the corner, someone’s been bludgeoned by a chair … built up from debris … everything tastes the same … keep on digging and see where that gets you …

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Crank Sturgeon CDr, I received with my deluxe shaker box made out of the can that at one time held Iranian Caviar, not sure what the title of this is or what year it was released

—-watchu gonna do? It’s all just stuff, just stuff it all together. One T-rex’s rash is another porcupine’s dogma. The tarantulas have cross pollinated with the bees, everyone realized today that when they woke up they could now bend their legs below the knees not only in both directions, perhaps these are the beginning stages in our evolutionary history where we can swing them in circles fast enough like propellers

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Cincincrimcram Holiday Sampler 2015, CD

—-It’s christmas in my butt. I’m cold, it’s winter time, someone warm me up. He sees you when you’re sleeping. Stuff my fucking stocking santa. The whole world is going to end. It’s not always all about me.

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Deathpile G.R. Hospital Productions HS-88 Force of Nature fon 04, 12″, 2003

—-Classic, and exalted, Power Electronics album meets true crime. Very heavy album that has been praised by so many noise and PE fans since its release, I can’t really add much of value to all the reverence it has received. Essential.

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Aaron Dilloway The Gag File Dais Records DAIS102, 12″, 2017

—-appeared in an alley way, can’t remember how I got here, don’t know what I’m doing here, story of my life, i think i’m being followed, i keep slipping in and out of awareness, and that’s when it hits me, it’s difficult to tell how much depth is in this madness, what kind of trickery might fool us next, a vehement psychedelia, keep pushing, maintain steady pace, increase intensity, laugh it up, fuckers

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Developer / Crown of Bone split on Nefarious Activities NF14, tape, 44 of 66, 2012

—-Can’t focus, didn’t know I could be in this many places at once, horrid alternate realities are seeping into what’s perceived as ours, maybe it’s vice reversa, wkno hwos?, people sit and stuff their idiot box faces with brainerasing sitcoms while so many of us are being cut up, mutilation is the norm, act unnatural, bury yourself alive, shovel that cleansing dirt into your wounds, dig knives into your wounds, that’s the only way they’ll heal

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Merzbow Akasha Gulva Alien8 Recordings ALIEN CD1, ed of 1000, 1996

—-Extrastellar terrorscape, all out catastrophe, mind crumbles under old age, slow decay into dirt, stars swallowing planets, viruses thriving off the death of other life forms, the sounds of every empty space in the cosmos layered on top of one another

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Sightings Amusers and Puzzlers Dais Records DAIS 074, 12″, 2015

—-Systems malfunction, too many questions with answers, a faux Chinese finger-trap that once you’re in, there is no way out, all is in accordance with the absence of plans, the absence of reason, the illusion of reality.

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Drew McDowall Collapse Dais Records DAIS 076, 12″, 2016

—-caught in a dream riding a fine line between beauty and terror, the signs reveal themselves to you, all 435 configurations, and incalculable subconfigurations, what just happened? It will never happen the same way again, so let it go. Run tests, run labs, determine the issue, determine the best method of treatment, going to sleep in dreams, entering new levels of dreams, every time, don’t stop, keep pushing. Convulsions.

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Pop Culture Rape Victim Saturated Obscurica OB-019, CD, 2005

—-Obscure creatures rise from the sea, and torment humanity on nearby shores, bad things happen all the time, there is no balance, it’s mostly bad, no use in trying to deny it

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Orthodox Gran Poder Southern Lord SUNN69, CD, 2007

—-Time to train, strategize how to handle unexpected assaults, teams must function cohesively, battle is imminent, sneak up through the fog, startle, disconcert, be prepared. Awareness breeds contempt.

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Envenomist Abyssal Siege PACrec 117, snip-snip 40, Troniks TRO-208 CD, 2005

—-the poet floats down a murky swamp river, it’s night, and the moon is hidden behind clouds, it’s raining, the rain tastes acidic, you’ve been drugged, you’re nodding out, a delirious portal engulfs you, a haze of amorphous yet crystalline structures stretches out in all directions, finally you’re leaving, never to return.

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Jupiter and Semele Gustave Moreau, 1895, as chosen as the artwork for disc 5 of 6 to go with Marcel Proust’s Within A Budding Grove in The Ebony Tower’s 42 disc boxset dedicated to Remembrance of Things Past aka In Search of Lost Time

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The Necks Aether ReR Megacorp ReR NECKS2, CD, 2001

—-Rays of blinding light shine through, finally, peace does exist, take it in, it’s okay now, it’s all going to be okay, factuality in hope, harmony in discord

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Ultralyd Inertiadrome Rune Grammofon RCD 2105, 2010

—-Let us dance like time never existed, lets take back our lives, lets eat our oppressors, cook and eat them or eat them alive, you choose, either way it’s time we celebrate instead of slaving away for the state, dance for now, tomorrow we fight

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Sightings S/T Load Records LOAD 035, CD, 2002

—-Concomitant with hazy memories of acid frenzies, everything is fucked but somehow you’re still having fun, you’re blasting back at all the nonsense with maniacal noise rock, you’re drifting down that electric eel river, you’re somewhat uncomfortable but okay, define okay, define psychological insanity

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MSBR Destructive Locomotion Dedicated To Chizuo Matsumoto RRRecords Pure PURE25, CD, 1995

—-The mainframe of physical reality blasts away like a mushroom cloud, extradimensional wars wages causing unfathomable destruction, entropic cataclysm, everything you care about wiped away and forgotten, a beast ravaging the village, placing the souls of its victims in an inescapable and torturous prison

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Genocide Organ Obituary Of The Americas Tesco Organisation Germany TESCO 100, CD, 2016

—-Now we are in your mind. Our hands are in your mind. Go to your resurrection, meet your mistakes. Tell me, tell me again, that you’re ready to go. I don’t want to die…i’m waiting for a moment…with my hand on my cock and my brain on drugs…that’s why you’re here, to take your final rest…unrest…you never wanted to know…you’re back at school…to get your final degree…now your minds are in our hands…we decided that you oughta learn what you never wanted to know…just open your eyes, if you still see, close them again…we won’t disappear…shots fired, act urgently, the shit is hitting the fan, act quick, control your level of panic or die

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15May: Dreamt about that devastating hopeless feeling I get when I get suicidal, lots of tears were flowing from my eyes, that’s all I seem to remember from this dream

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Darren Aronofsky’s Black Swan film, 2010

—-Just finally watching this one for the first time. It floored me, and had my jaw drop many times. Awesome.

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Con-Dom How Welcome Is Death To I Who Have Nothing More To Do But Die Tesco Organisation TESCO 102, CD, 2016

—-If anyone out there thinks it isn’t inhumane to keep terminally ill patients alive, for no one except the fucking medical and insurance businesses to benefit from, listen to this, and follow along with the lyrics. This is one of the heaviest and most devastating recordings of all time based on some of the heaviest and most devastating forms of human suffering. This is an extremely important album. Turn health scare into health care, be compassionate and empathetic.

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CVN Matters Orange Milk Records, tape, 2016

—-The urgency, accelerated by impending doom, grasping for straws, finding they have holes, there are corners you can never prepare yourself to walk around. Enjoy yourself while you can, form a sense of community with the ones that are awake, a greater glory awaits beyond the end of human life on this planet. This gives you clairvoyance to preview it.

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Levi Bailey Stay Away From Me Fuck Marry Kill FMK007, tape, 2017, 3 of 12 numbered

—-Packaged in a prescription bag from walgreens. Your insurance saved you $600.09. “Your parents are dead, that must be really hard for you.” Crunch time. Mega despondent sonic lesions festering, trauma senses tingling, no good times in here, an alarm goes off, the inhabitants are deaf, the fire blocked the only exit, screams of decaying flesh, the harsh walls tumbling down

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Forced Into Femininity Heterochromea Hausu Mountain HAUSMO 59, tape, 2017

—-“You make me so unhappy….i can never let it go….i was mentally ill….i was a criminal….as a woman, i’m a woman, am I a woman?, ….your life is a lie, because you are afraid…” Jill Flanagan makes very disconcerting and deconstructed dance type music, and if you ever have a chance to see her live, do it. Easily one of those most unforgettable performance artists I’ve ever seen. Very deep feels, battles with transmisogyny, suffering due to human ignorance, yet thriving like a wonderful sunrise when around accepting people, self described “Marxist body horror act”, the music is almost linear enough to dance to, but instead achieves creating a sense of expectancy only to keep pushing forth unexpected transitions, pauses, clusters, changes in tempo, tone, color, kind of crooning singing, all of the sudden screaming, all of the sudden a dragged out section, and these odd feelings go on and all of the sudden it’s over, and you are not sure what just happened. Fucking amazing.

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Sightings Through The Panama Load Records Load 119, CD, 2007

—-Celebratory music for psychopaths, like me.

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Bastard Noise Our Earth’s Blood IV Cathartic Process CP-08, 5xCD, 2009

—-4 years in the making, and it shows…”control pedestal…home grown mortal extinction…special interest, intellectual futility now the decision making process…born of ignorance…fuck religious resolve…’too late’ is the human animal’s middle name and ‘hypocrisy’ is the last…religion is armageddon…christ would vomit on the act of bloodletting for religion…suicide is illegal due to tax dollars potentially lost…eugenics equals doom, eugenics equals hate, fuck the aryan way, fuck the nazi state…slithering through a maze of inequality amongst men…generic science by unnatural selection…battle of the minds begins and never ends…ignorance breeds devastation, her atrophy, humanity is the plague that’s killing its host’s body…say goodbye to all you know…cohesive brutality a sickening reality, today our society is warnumb…insidious path of psychiatric darkness…there is no serial killer like religion…fuck all religion…beyond death motherfucker for fucking dinosaur juice, fucking baldy, jock, cheeseburger, maggot, larvae, indirect serial killer society, numbskull anus parade of cowboy fans, all begging for the motherfucking juice man, the juice and the desire to control it…we’ll drown in our earth’s blood…being extinct would be a true relief for the planet, let her breathe deep without our shit species” I don’t wanna share any more excerpts of the lyrics. 5 discs of pure brilliance, very diverse and engaging the entire way through.

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Oren Ambarchi Quixotism Editions Mego 202, CD, 2014, with Thomas Brinkmann, Matt Chamberlain, Crys Cole, Eyvind Kang, Jim O’Rourke, John Tilbury, U-zhaan, Ilan Volkov & the Icelandic Symphony Orchestra

—-Close your eyes, imagine that you hadn’t been born, that nothing familiar begins to swallow you whole, only, in a good way, wrapped in a sonic blanket, it’s warm, it’s cozy, its shape won’t quit shifting, into more comfortable positions, there is beauty here, things are strange here, delightful, wondrous.

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May14: on a retreat, being hunted in a house, lights outside going out, running upstairs

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Zigzag Updown Fun Time Band and yea, bask in my failings Lurker Bias LB_082, tape, 2017

—-At the crux of regrets, feeling it all, holding nothing back, letting it flow like the raging wildfire it is, trying to take everything back, trying to make it right, wanting to make it right, being unable to change the past, unable to shape the future, pinnacle of hopelessness, a knife drawer of despondency, blades of irreparable damage done to and done by, ov nothingness, desperately clinging to a dying comrade, seeing the light disappear from the eyes.

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Consume zine by Matthew Reis, 2016

—-Another very sick zine from the mind behind tons of astonishing artworks. I keep trying to come up with better terminology for this work than eye-candy, which, it is a sight to behold, but it isn’t sweet like candy, more like eye-blackest-coffee, or eye-void, very amazing to stare at and analyze and contemplate. I advise contacting MR at factotumtapes@hotmail.com and getting these for yourself while they’re still available.

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