March 23, 2017

Howdy howdy fellow followers ov void, here giving an update on what has been helping this troubled soul through all of this mess since the 13th of March, and things that could potentially help you too, especially if you found this by searching something out on google, or a friend told you, or you’re one of my friends, whatever the case, I hope this update finds you some semblance of well. Your Princess loves you! ❤

Welcome To Night Vale, podcast, ongoing

—-Thank you Kelly for pointing me in the direction of this podcast. There are a lot of very clever moments in these ongoing stories, fairly intricate character development, the oddest advertisements aside from the fairly straight forward ones at the beginning and ends of the podcasts, lots of jokes about existential dread; something I can deeply relate to, lots of occult oddities going on in the town of Nightvale, and listening to these podcasts has made me burst out laughing on numerous occasions to be met by my coworkers with questions as to what is so funny, and me not explaining myself. I don’t owe them anything, and if I could get old woman Josie’s angels to do away with them I would.

The Mighty Boosh, tv show

—-Kelly also pointed me in the direction of this very funny show. Thank you again! I’m not very far into the show, but I am enjoying it a lot, and I am being told that it just gets funnier as it goes along. Quality time passer.

Jason Evil is an artist that has been active for over 20 years, and is now living in Wisconsin. His art is available by mail order only, and his art is very bad ass. As well as his self professed Doom Truth Spoken Word which I originally stumbled across through some various compilations that I have acquired over the years from Trashfuck Records. Not afraid to speak his mind, not afraid of letting his misanthropic viewpoints known is something I highly admire. It is actually quite refreshing for me to hear someone speak about things like they are. Brutal realism will always come before comfort for me. There is a lot that can be learned through having one’s thoughts provoked. “I hate people, what part of that don’t you understand.”

Tri Geamikoj “H” Kikyuu Records KYUU-01, CD, 2017

—-I love these geamikoj. Some of the most pleasant interactions of my life have involved Karl Roehling, Chase Gardner, and Beth Dodds. These recordings are super good. I would think that even if I disliked these folks, but I don’t and maybe that makes me like it more, but I don’t care, I’d say that objectively, their brilliance shines on even the darkest shadows in these recordings. At times humorous, other times wacky, Beth is one of the best percussionists in the world, mark my words, and Karl hasn’t been playing Sax all that long but somehow he’s already taught himself to circular breathe and squeal and is quite talented, and Chase’s control over the art of the No-Input Mixing Board is very on point, the three of them combining these things as well as vocals makes for a very magickal recording. This is a very solid first release for Chase’s new founded Kikyuu Records, and I look forward to whatever may come next.

The Residents: American Composer Series – Volume 1 “George & James” East Side Digital ESD 81482, CD, 2000, originally released by Ralph Records in 1984

—-The George Gershwin pieces on this are executed quite beautifully, but I actually don’t know how the original pieces sound. So, I have no basis for comparison. Very weird and strange, always a good thing. The James Brown tracks are also very weird, and amazing, and I am somewhat familiar with the original songs and can hear them in this, but also can see how they’re mutilating the tracks, interpreting parts on keys and synths instead of the more traditional funk approach. This album rules.

Controlled Bleeding “Penetration” Third Mind Records TMD 9165, CD, 1992

—-Paul Lemos on guitars, keys, drums, electronics and vocals, Chris Moriarty on keys, drums, electronics, percussion and vocals, Joe Papa on percussion, tapes and vocals, Bill Pollack on rhythm guitars on “Blessed is the Burning Room” and Bill Schick on guitar solo on “Blessed…”. “Searching For The Answers In This Rotten World Of Filth!!” This album is a banger, as is everything CB has released!

Mr. Dorgon Vs. Greg Kelley “Three Occasions” Autodoprotto, CD, 2006

—-This is something I picked up out of the back closet in the Arlington CD Warehouse simply because Greg Kelley is involved, one of my favorite musicians, and this CD delivers a very odd loop based series of sounds that are very texturally details, lots of little subtitles amidst the rhythmic pulses. Really awesome and very trance inducing. I couldn’t find this online, but I am sure if you’re aware of Greg Kelley, and into what he’s done, that if you sought a copy of this out you wouldn’t be disappointed.
21Mar: I was moving to new house, I felt like I never take in art, there was a guy rapping on side of a hill, someone started being abusive to me, telling me I should just be happy, I started walking down the street crying, someone i thought was my dad but didnt look at all like my dad was sitting in the passenger seat of the car; turned down the wrong way on the street, sleep paralysis while curtains were on fire, I was scolded for not getting up and putting out the fire, I walked down the street and was gonna kill myself, I crawled down in construction site full of machinery and rusted metals, got into a digging machine and was dumped out on higher ground, kids started asking me what is wrong, found my military medical records somewhere

Steven Jesse Bernstein “Prison” Sub-Pop SP101B, CD, 1992

—-My friend Bryan turned me onto SJB under the pretense that he hates most poetry, aside from Burroughs and SJB, who happened to be friends. I was also told about SJB’s suicide wherein he stabbed himself in the throat. I only had to check one or two tracks out online before I decided to order this CD off of Discogs. “I like to think when something disturbs me that it is important”, “I don’t like parties” so many quotable phrases. ‘Prison’ was described as 1000% Bad Assery, if I remember correctly. And yeah, that is very accurate. “Will we be forever lost to each other?”

(A)sex “Forced” Fusty Cunt FUC 167, tape, 2017

—-This one comes crawling in, in its grotesque form, sprawling and angular blasts of feedback and crunch coming in with all their textural glory. Having been fortunate enough to get to know Mitchell Rotunno and work with him, and dive into his various projects, he really does a masterful job with his hardware, as I listen to this I can see him slamming his hands down into pedals and thrashing about in my head. Mitchell is the real deal, he works at an assisted living facility with patients dealing with dementia; and that kind of rawness, and brutal reality definitely seeps its way into his work. Fucking amazing and devastating.

Paul Thomas Anderson’s “Magnolia” film, 1999

—-As part of both a newly founded tradition of movie Mondays and the insurmountable list of things to take in as a member of the Loathsome Semen Club, I just watched this for the first time. Loved it, as I have loved everything i’ve seen by PTA.

“Lucifer Rising” short film by director Kenneth Anger. Completed in 1972, the film was only widely distributed in 1980. In the late 1970s, with the permission of the prison, Bobby Beausoleil composed and recorded the soundtrack.

—-As part of the ongoing and insurmountable list of things to take in as part of the Loathsome Semen Club, we’ve decided to take in as many works by Anger as we can. This film is fantastic, as well as the score. Every scene is beautifully shot, and I can only imagine how much work went into splicing and editing the shots. Fucking awesome.

The Hafler Trio “Seven Hours Sleep” Korm Plastics Paragraph 9, Subsection 5.7, Definitive remastered reissue of this album, originally released in 1985 by L.A.Y.L.A.H. Packaged in a large card and glassine paper wallet with a 28 page booklet. Copies ordered direct from the label came with a Seven Hours Sleep pin., 2006

—-It’s pretty crazy that something this far outré came out in 1985, way ahead of its time. Ultra weird, ambience sometimes cut off by stark contrasts, field recordings and who knows what else. The packaging this is in is incredibly gorgeous and the passages printed inside make a complimentary reading/listening experience quite immersive. I couldn’t find this one online, but this, like everything by The Hafler Trio, is amazing.

Illusion of Safety “Historical” CD, in leather pouch, stamped 474, limited to 500 copies, Staalplaat STCD 044, 1991

—-“Use Volume With Caution” This album is real intense. Samples of people recounting being tortured and detained, recounting very gruesome things “My children’s bones were broken. They said it would continue until I confessed crimes against the government, but I invented things to save my family, they said I was lying.” Sonically it’s very difficult to pigeonhole, it goes from cut up sections, to harsh blasts, to dark ambient sections, heavy metal and industrial sections. This is a disasterpiece. It originally included a .22 round going through the hole in the center of the packaging, but I got this second-hand without one,,,but I could always get a .22 round from someone and put it there myself thus making my life an insignificant amount more complete.
Mar19: There was a swat team that detained me, put me in handcuffs, said I was wanted for murder, and somehow I escaped the handcuffs and ran off down a field and into this clocktower looking place where I was climbing up and away from the police, and somehow I ended up in a dim lit warehouse looking area and had someone with me all the sudden, and we climbed into these spaces beneath some piping, into some small air duct looking areas, one of which had a lot of cleaning supplies in it, and we got to a vantage point where we could see the police shining their lights around looking for us, some of them were rappelling up the walls

Harvey Milk’s “Life…The Best Game In Town” CD, (2008) and “Special Wishes” CD, 2006

—-I really fucking love Harvey Milk and have listened to their albums hundreds of times each. “Life is the best game in town and death goes to the winner!!” “And wouldn’t you agree about that famous tree? If no one was around, it didn’t fall at all. And I couldn’t even care if someone happened there, and it fell and crushed them all, all down!!”

Melvins “Stoner Witch” CD, 1994

—-What could I possibly say about this that hasn’t been said for the last 23 years? I’m a pretty big fan of Melvins, I own a lot of their releases, I’ve seen em live more times than I can count on one hand, awesome band.

Aesop Rock “Labor Days” CD, 2001

—-I’ve been listening to this since not long after it came out. I have still been unable to memorize a song from beginning to end, and I still catch lines of verse I have previously missed. A master lyricist.

Psyopus “Ideas of Reference” CD, 2004

—-This is one of my favorite technica metal bands, Arpmandude and team fucking shred in a way that’s very pleasing to me.

Mar18: I was in some jam space type area, and was upset at a bunch of people for throwing a gathering in my jam space, but then my friend informed me that they moved in there and somehow that made everything alright, and I was embarrassed for getting upset. This girl got upset because her chocolate muffin was missing, and this other girl had a box of chocolate muffins and gave me one to give to her to make her feel better. I was rehearsing some noise music when a guitar player wanted to join in, but I told him I didn’t think we’d be a good sonic fit with each other, as he played some regular ass red hot chili peppers sounding shit. One of the people in my jam space stated to me they were thankful they weren’t sharing the same space with people suffering from PTSD, and I told him that I was and he got embarrassed for expressing himself and a girl with him scolded him for being insensitive, and she started asking me about treatment, and I told her that it wasn’t really helping and she started laughing at me, and I began to cry. I started developing these weird multiple personalities, where I could visually see myself from the third person, start spreading into these trailed quadrupled versions of myself making four different decisions and then choose which of the four to actually proceed with, making the other three disappear before another series of decisions were made, and this split self kept morphing around like that into some movie theater, where on the screen was some instructions for the singularity and eventual evolving of humankind into this biological monstrosity we are all going to be born into, that resembles some of the most grotesque things I’ve ever seen, it was bloody, it was covered in sores and pus and hair grew out of it in weird places and it was also splitting into these multiple sections and morphing in on itself, I was horrified as I started feeling myself become this thing, it was painful, and full of anxiety. I would bounce back and forth from the movie theater and the screen and being in the screen as if millions of miles away from any movie theater, and it was as if these visions were doing this to all of us that were in the theater, certain scenes in the film engulfed us in the becoming one with this nasty beast.

Mauricio Kagel’s “Blue’s Blue: Eine musikethnologische Rekonstruktion für vier Musiker” Video, 1981 & “MM 51 / Nosferatu”, 1983

First of all, mind blown. It appears that Kagel took some recordings of John Blue, and turned listening to them into a very ahead of its time composition, involving four musicians, seemingly living their lives, playing their instruments at different times at first, Theodor Ross stops and begins washing his hands, then resumes guitar playing, Kagel is singing into a glass, Jean-François Jenny-Clark rolls out of bed and picks up a doublebass, Michel Portal sits on the couch playing clarinet, trains passing and join in on the soundtrack, fans blowing in the room, brilliant! Then on ‘MM 51’ the first go around is X playing a brilliant through composed piece for piano, to a ticking metronome that sometimes stops, and at points he laughs very maniacally, and the second go around it’s (i think) a different through composition (again for piano) while a screening of Murnau’s ‘Nosferatu’ is playing, perfectly going with the silent film. Thanks to my friend Bryan for pointing me in this direction by sending me a burned copy of these on DVD.

The Drama of Trauma, Museum of Death zine in the False Crime/Eye Violence by PTD/Head Destroyer

—-This one has some real sick poetry in it, as well as pretty detailed information about a Museum of Death in NOLA that is advertised through word of mouth only, so as to reach the right people, and by golly I wanna go real bad now. It also features kick ass drawings themed around different serial killers, Henry Lee Lucas, Ottis Toole, Richard Ramirez and John Wayne Gacy. Fucking awesome.

Fire Island, ak / M Kitchell split tape, “For Antonio” Fuck Mtn. Label Records, FMLR-10, 2014

—-Side A features FI, ak, entitled ‘Maneuvers (for Antonio) and inside the j-card is a pair of dates, ‘1985-2011’ and features what appears to be a poem by Antonio Urdiales, ‘Life is making up the practice of the daylight hours, life is taken up by so much time dreaming, making similar to our dreams a real world is another half of what this life comprises of’, credited as being written in 2010, and entitled “The Need For Sleep”, I didn’t have to search very hard to find some very kind words about Antonio, “Yesterday I lost a beloved friend to complications caused by HIV. He was a brilliant artist, liver of life, great joker, and more brilliant and talented than anyone I have ever met. We used to send each other links to items on 1st Dibs–he would send me couture YSL and Balenciaga and I would send him doll head molds from the 1800s and strange instruments of potential torture, and the occasional vintage Margiela piece. And we would rave over each other’s choices. Today, all of my posts are dedicated to Antonio Urdiales.” was written on a tumblr account ‘ruggedandfancy-blog’ and I found a couple collections of Antonio’s music here. The sounds on this tape by Fire Island, ak, are brooding, creepy and dark, subtle rhythmic pulses under lo-fi hissing and crackling, seems very fitting for a time of mourning. There is also what sounds like some flogging going on, and moaning, which sounds almost celebratory, It becomes apparent that Anthony was involved in BDSM. I can feel the pain, loss, nostalgia, and grim beauty in all these sounds combined, and it is helping me feel less alone. On M Kitchell’s side, ‘A Different Form of Impossible Pain’, there are more tasteful and brooding drone sections, as the waves shift in and out of one another, slowly decay and build again, gorgeous chords come in and are slowly pitch shifting in a dreamy fashion, there seems to be a sample of Antonio talking, from what I gather about him being from Alabama, and the person talking about trying to make up for all the cock they weren’t getting in Alabama by utilizing money they saved up to spend 7 months getting gang fucked every day, saving up money to totally destroy their self, “so much cock, mmmmm”, Antonio says, “it’s okay though, don’t tell anyone, I’m destructive.” Melodic passages come in, haunting and layered with more samples of Antonio talking, now much harder to decipher what’s being said, but that cuts away before the more clear samples of him talking come in, “the stuffed animal obsession, disco balls, the bare backing, submission, the poetry, you know” and then more mournful and nostalgic harmony and melody, my deepest condolences to everyone who’s lives were touched by Antonio. Brilliant homage in the form of a c30.

Straight Panic “Homo Will Not Inherit” Fusty Cunt FUC163, tape, 2017

—-This is my introduction to the work of SP, for shame, somehow I started following him on instagram, and would catch little tidbits here and there, and have been broke for a while, and then I saw that Fusty batch included a new recording by SP, but by the time I got funds for it, the SP had sold out, but then I found out I could cop one directly from SP, and it’s here, in all its brutal glory. Grotesque drones melting and oozing through the speakers, the bigots in every filthy shop in the streets, HOMO WILL NOT INHERIT, printed on a sheet of paper that accompanies the tape, very raw and poetic and I can’t tell if it’s the lyrics for the vocals on Side B, or poetry, but the emotional screams and range of tortured vocals definitely match the mood of this poetry, though I did catch him saying HOMO WILL NOT INHERIT towards the end so maybe these are lyrics, does it matter? i think the overall message this work seems to be conveying matters a great deal more, samples that question nonviolent disobedience’s efficacy, thunderous booms of brooding madness over the stupidity of most humans, it’s very difficult to not feel like there is no hope for humanity, the way we treat each other, the way we treat the planet, this album is a perfect soundtrack to all of that. It’s dark and heavy as fuck power electronics.

I Like You Go Home “Feathered In A Nest” Breaching Static BS82, CDr, 2017

—-This doesn’t take long to go into full on harsh-junk-abuse overkill, and it’s fucking amazing. It does have some really tasteful toned down, creeping bits as well. Described at the BS blogspot as, “For this full length, ILYGH holds nothing back displaying 7 tracks of blistering harsh noise. If your looking for an ILYGH release with pretty guitar parts and smooth ambiance, this is not for you. This shit is heavy!” I concur, this shit is heavy.

Culled “III” Breaching Static BS79, CDr, 2017

—-in a dense forest, being hunted by land-sharks, every step must be careful, oscillating anxieties swarm your being, you want to run but you know they’ll hear you, maddening hallucinations surround you, facilitating deafening emptiness, crackling, spewing forth, unrecognizable. Dark ambience, drones, shifting harsh textures, mutilated loops, and more create a wonderful and dark listening experience on this album.
Mar16: I was hanging with an old acquaintance, C.H., in some home that another old acquaintance, B.Y., was living in a car outside of. B. was bragging to us about how he liked to hot box his car with cigarette’s, and C. was complaining about how bad B. smelled all the time, B. was looking like he never showered or changed clothes. At some other point we were in a restaurant that was super expensive. The appetizers were $20 each, and I tried to convince the people I was with to go to another restaurant. I only recall one statement someone made, about how we’d all just suffer like people in England did in the 1800’s.

Human Fluid Rot and Boar split CDr on Breaching Static BS80, 2017

—-Two of the heaviest in the harsh realm, two slabs by HFR’s Robert Wilson Brantley III, and two slabs by Boar’s Alex Nowacki. Fucking awesome thirty minute dose of quality harsh.

Skin Graft “Condition” No Rent Records NRR45, tape, 2017

—-First I’d like to note the two sides of this tape are marked Side Fuck and Side You, and secondly I’d like to note that listening to this tape is like being mind fucked, which is fitting. I only own a few things by Skin Graft, Wyatt Howland’s grotesque and mutilated soundchild, but everything I’ve heard is fucking awesome. Harsh and heavy.

—-Ben Bennett is by far one of my favorite people on the planet, and sadly I am having to miss his first Texas performances. My friend Chase pointed me in the direction of this performance, which I was previously unaware of. It’s actually quite brilliant, as is everything Ben has done. Somehow he’s become internet famous for his Sit and Smile videos on Youtube, where he sits and smiles for four hours at a time. If only half of those people knew how great of a percussionist, sound magician he is, and took in a lot of the messages he sends out in the form of song titles, or how he does things like donating “All the money from this digital album will go to Living Energy Farm, a project to build a farm, community, and education center without the use of fossil fuels or electronic media. More info at”, Here. I am convinced that if more people had half the heart he has that the world could be a better place.

PCRV “Contemporary Processing” Breaching Static BS78, CDr, 2016

—-Pop Culture Rape Victim’s most recent release as far as I know, and my introduction to the work aside from some things I’ve heard on the PCRV soundcloud. There’s a use of haunting and tastful melodies to parts in this that stick out for me as one of the more unexpected elements, layered with sputtering and morphing, mutilated synth textures that are often different in each channel. There seems to be a clear compositional approach to these pieces, they build and sneak up on you, creep around and then turn into all out harsh assaults at times. Overall it’s a very bad ass release.

Ana-Maria Avram and Iancu Dumitrescu “Live In London (I)” Edition Modern ED.MN.1026, CD, 2008 & “Electronic Music” Edition Modern ED.MN.1029, CD, 2013

—-Dumitrescu and Avram have been blowing my mind now for several years. I highly recommend checking out anything you can find by them if you’re into extreme sonic exploration of any kind, it almost doesn’t get any better. These albums are insanely good. ‘Live In London’ features 3 compositions by each composer, pretty close to equaling the same duration as one another, totaling nearly 80 minutes of masterful compositions for losing oneself in, and being surprised when it’s over and you’re back again. ‘Live In London’  features Tim Hodgkinson (clarient, bass clarinet), Gustavo Aguilar (percussion), Hyperion Ensemble and IO String Quartet: Christina McGann and Stephen Miahky (violins), Elizabeth Weisser, and Ioan-Marius Lacraru (violas), Christopher Gross, Andrei Kivu, Viorica Nagy, and Vasile Comsa (cello), Vladimir Silaev, Felipe Canales (doublebasses), Petru Teodorescu, Vasile Nedelcu (Percussion), Matei Teodorescu, Constantinn Urziceanu (clarinets), Orban Gödri (bassoon), Tiberiu Cenuser, Victor Arsene (trombones). ‘Electronic Music’ is some unholy-grail-of-forward-thinking-computer-noise-insanity type shit. Thoroughly mangled tones and textures, nightmare hues and horror colors, huge peaks and valleys, strange progressions, odd attacks and witherings, fucking phenomenal sounds as always by the Romanian rednow-composers Dumitrescu and Avram.

Koufar “When The Last One Leaves” Fusty Cunt 163, tape, 2017

—-This is my introduction to Koufar, a project by Mackenzie Chami. It’s got this ultra devastating feel to it, strange samples, more straight forward samples, samples of what sounds like cities being bombed and people screaming, deep synths, screams, some rather pretty singing samples, overall this is a very incredible Power Electronics album. I found an interview Mackenzie did here, and having this information makes listening to this tape all that much more intense. “This is where things get fun. My message is political, ideological, and personal all at the same time. I do not personally believe in every last thing that I present or yell about, however. I like to stick to the “unsafe” side of power electronics when it comes to presentation because therein lies the true power in creating Power Electronics or Industrial music. Earlier in the history of the project, it was me telling a twisted, one-sided view of the Maronites, as well as my story of the history of Lebanon. It’s not so much the ideology with the project that gives me strength but more so with being a proud Lebanese man. It is my pride that gives me strength within this project.”

Arca “Xen” Mute 9613-2, 2014

—-I’m late to the Arca game. I’ve only been taking in their sounds for the last 3 months or so, and it didn’t take long to become some of my favorite beat driven electronic music, it’s sculpted so masterfully, and it’s so beautiful. This album is amazing, and the visual artwork by Jesse Kanda in the booklet is a perfect accompaniment to the sounds.

Pyramid Dust “Decaying Future” Breaching Static BS81, 2017

—-Described at BS as “A collaborative project between Alex Nowacki from Boar, and Patrick Gilligan from I Like You Go Home, Harsh noise abuse meets dark drones meets structured ambiance” and it’s really great, very dense lows and crunches and crisp highs, it flows very beautifully and is haunting. Love it.

Peter Evans, Sam Pluta, and Jim Altieri “Sum and Difference” Carrier Records 006, CD, 2011

—-This is a fantastic slab of electroacoustic exploration, that I picked up because of recognizing Sam Pluta and Peter Evans, and is my introduction to Jim Altieri. Peter Evans is quite an amazing trumpet player, and utilizes extended techniques in a very mesmerizing way, Sam Pluta’s electronic implementations are also quite diverse and mesmerizing; and I assume that Jim Altieri is playing strings, but everything on this album is obscured and weaves and pulsates, sputters and streams down an amazing outré river of sound.
Mar15: flew to Oregon to file VA claim, tried to park car outside of the airport, some rude person kept walking in front of the car and refused to move, I got out of the car to confront them and she turned out to be the VA agent in charge of claims, she then kept asking me about my traumatic experiences, and I started crying and then experienced a flashback, the same experience I always seem to flashback to, to watching a detainee get their throat slit in front of me and watching him spasm out on the ground, kind of frozen and in shock (having a flashback to the same experience, as if I were there again, as if I never left, i hate my brain sometimes, it’s so fucked up, it makes me question the linearity of time, it makes me unsure I am even ever really in the now, it fucks up my entire outlook on life, i feel so fucking cursed), after the flashback I was back talking to the VA agent in Oregon and she was being very unhelpful, I ended up deciding to fly back to Texas and file it there instead, somehow landed in San Antonio instead of Dallas, the same claim person followed me, put some spell on me where more I tried to get away the more wrapped up I became, I couldn’t even leave the airport and she seemed to be feeding off of my hurting soul, the more pain I was in the more powerful she became and the less I could move.

Deterge “Unintentional” Fusty Cunt 154, tape, 2017

—-Self described as “loop process harsh noise based around mathematically coded computer crashing errors” seems to be a fitting description. The results are quite disorienting. Fucking awesome. I can’t seem to find a preview of this online, but if Fusty has any more available it is well worth acquiring.

The Ebony Tower “Remembrance Of Things Past: An Interpretation in 42 Parts; Dedicated to Marcel Proust” 42xCD limited box set, signed, edition 2/10, 2016.

—-So, this is one of the most impressive releases that I own, and I haven’t even scratched the surface of it really. Things got all hectic in my life the last time I tried diving through this, so I’ve recently started over. This is a 42 disc box set, each disc in an hour HNW with various paintings printed on each disc, in 7 DVD size cases with 6 discs in each for the 7 different novels in Proust’s “Remembrance of Things Past.” I am very lucky to know Mitchell, and have spent time with him. He was nice enough to give me a copy of ‘Swann’s Way’. I have divided the number of pages in ‘Swann’s Way’ by 6, and plan on reading each segment with the corresponding disc on repeat, until I have made it to the next sixth, repeat until I have read all 7 novels split into 6 parts each. In subsequent mentions of my progress in doing this, I will be breaking it down into thoughts of each particular disc, about the painting chosen to be on that disc, and about what I’ve read in that sixth of the book, pictures of lines I felt extra special, and who knows where else this amazing and arduous reading expedition will bring me and captivate me to write about in other ways as well. I’m writing this after finishing the first sixth of ‘Swann’s Way’. The Painting on this disc is ‘The Cenotaph of Jean-Jacques Rousseau in the Tuileries, Paris’, by Hubert Robert, 1794. This painting is gorgeous. The writing of Proust, so far, is very gorgeous. The way he can take some seemingly mundane experiences as drinking tea, or how he felt about a ritiual him and his mother had before he went to sleep as a child, in particular during instances where it didn’t happen due to guests, and can elaborate upon these things in such beautiful detail, in such a poetic way, is really quite a joy to read. The HNW of disc one is completely static and unchanging for an entire hour. I listened to it 3 times to make it through 62 pages. It’s quite meditative and actually helps me block out all outside noise and really dive deep into this writing. I love it a lot. Some words I learned:

Disc 2: Procession In The Piazza San Marco, Gentile Bellini, 1494

—-I’m still finding myself quite enveloped in this book. So lovely, and the second disc’s soundtrack makes for a beautifully heightened sensing of these passages.

14mar: i was in some rock cover contest with old metalhead friends, we were embarrassingly unprepared, we were trying to learn the songs day of, one of the songs was some Misfits song they were all super fond of, and I was the only one who didn’t know how to play it, and I kept asking people what the name of it was so I could listen to it on youtube and learn the drum parts. After realising how hopeless this endeavor was, I suggested we just improvise, the five of us, my old friend Brad was one of us, it’s always good to see him in dreams. He was using some handheld program, that seemed to be kind of like a smart phone, except specifically for noise, the functions were controlled by finger swipes which altered the geometric proportions visible on the screen in similar ways to how the sounds produced from it sounded. During improvising I picked up a cymbal stand and started swinging it back and forth into the ground. At some other point I remember one of my old friends saying that covering the Misfits song will get our dicks sucked. I remember thinking that this was a ridiculous reason to cover a song. At some other point we were all throwing cheese at each other.

Werner Herzog’s “Aguirre, der Zorn Gottes”, film, 1972

—-As part of the Loathsome Semen Club’s insurmountable list of things to check out, this is the first film I’ve seen by Werner Herzog. It is quite stunning. Filmed on location in the Amazon. A beautiful soundtrack by the Krautrock band Popol Vuh. I love it.

13may: I was in a shed of some sort, painting the ground (for some reason it had no floor) with drum sticks dipped in paint, and the owner of the house came in on me and wasn’t upset, she wanted to pay me to finish the floor. So i went to the stoor, which was a garage of people working on cars, to buy paint, and the lady there recommended I build a floor first, so it would be more professional. Somehow a floor appeared that was like a water bed made of wood, it was all small pieces grooved together to shift as you stepped on it, causing the parts around where you stepped to rise around your foot as your foot pressed down. It was painted really awesome colors, that were all splattered around. At some point I was making out with some woman, while someone I percieved as my girlfriend watched from across the room, and my girlfriend got real angry at this even though we were supposed to be polyamorous. At some other point I was in a stall in a bathroom, and was being questioned by a janitor as to who left a glock in the next stall over, as if I was supposed to keep track of who all used the restroom that day.

Ehnahre “Nothing and Nothingness” bandcamp, 2016

—-This outfit just keeps getting more and more dark, more depraved, more hopeless sounding, more dreadful. From a band that started out really fucked up sounding, the fact that they keep pushing the boundaries is quite astonishing. Ryan McGuire is the sole member, and I assume the main songwriter in all of their output, and is the one doing extremely dreadful lead vocals, and on this release, contrabass and electric bass. This also features Rich Chowenhill on guitar, Ricardo Donoso on percussion, Jared Redmond on piano, and Galeb Kanasevich on clarinet. These two tracks are expert through-compositions into the field of extreme torment, agonizing dismay, utter despondency, and then some. Metal doesn’t really get darker than this, but this isn’t really metal, the bandcamp may have metal in the URL but it’s not metal any more, it’s way beyond that. It’s fucking terrifying. It’s the worst things that can happen, happening again and again, relentless assault on the mind, a trauma you cannot recover from. This is the soundtrack to the lowest one can feel, a low many don’t climb out of. This is horrifying reality, in sonic form.

Mr. Brain Sander “craigslist” Anti-Everything ae56, Tape, 2009, about

—-This is a project by Bryan Lewis Saunders, a pseudonym he sometimes uses. It seems to be paraphrased and hyper-recited wanted ads from craigslist for lots of different kinds of sex and sex acts, cuckolding to cum sucking, euro teens to model pussy, big black boobs, ballbusting, toe kissing, swinger sex, throat fucking, teen red head group sex, I don’t want to spoil all of it. The atmosphere of the noise created by Head Molt on side A is very anxiety ridden and perfectly accompanies the intense spoken delivery. The sonic and spoken-word equivalent of a crazed sex drive, and hitting up Craigslist in hopes of obtaining sexual gratification. “Come One Come All Cum Dumpster Wanted!” Following the rant comes a series of synth destruction pieces that perfectly wrap up Side A. Side B comes in with some sample off of what sounds like a trailer for a kids movie, and with a dance beat by Toecutter, “There’s something waiting for you when you get home.” The same spoken word segment from Side A comes in, which is really interesting. Side A almost sounds like it might be hating on promiscuity, while Side B sounds all about it, when really it’s just Bryan reciting these ads he wrote, and no real stance is made, it is very open to interpretation, and assuming what is meant would say more about the person doing the assuming than it would anything else. I could actually see Side B playing at a party and everyone getting down to it. It might be the perfect track to incite an orgy. Fucking awesome tape, and it’s up to you to determine if that’s a pejorative use or complimentary use of a profanity.

Much love!


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