Been a while since I left a personal introduction on this blog. As a sort of treat for taking so long to post the entry today, I will spend the last hour and a half of the day drafting and finally making the entry, right before it becomes the 14th, standard central Gregorian time.
The 14th. Tomorrow would’ve been my dad’s 67th, been having some odd feelings about it; not sadness, I had a burst of sadness when it happened, but since it’s been a similar oscillating-at-various-intensities dread as it was before. I feel more down about losing artists or friends than blood relatives. I’ve been obsessed with both Dumitrescu and Avram since discovering them, so the news of Avram’s passing struck a chord with me, as it obviously has with many, so fucking sad.
I assume anyone reading this gets it, or gets that it can’t be gotten, some such sentiment. For all I know, it can be gotten: it can be understood what is happening in one’s life, why it’s happening, the purpose, why some people get the shit end of the stick while others have it ‘easy’, and do I really I have to elaborate? I doubt it can be understood.
I assume anyone reading this suffers from grief, loss, has had ones they care deeply about pass away repeatedly, for most of their lives sometimes, perhaps been close to death themselves, through whatever experience, etc. Existence is fucked up. It is chaotic. No rhyme, no reason. I’d love to think otherwise, but I am trying to become comfortable with how I perceive this existence: out of balance, if put euphemistically.
On a creative note: I have been working quite a bit, but reading as much as possible, taking in Black Mirror for the first time, and loving that, keeping up with the return Twin Peaks, making sounds with friends, and loving that more than almost anything, aside from having SOLITUDE. My favorite thing ( I don’t like to play favorites, but I feel most comfortable when I am hanging with myself ). Complete alone time, sort of, maybe it doesn’t count if I am taking in art the whole time. Headphones on, working on the Trauma, Grief, Despair Vol. 2 project, an avant hip-hop solo project I’m keeping mostly a secret, various splits with fine artists I revere and can thankfully call friends and satellite fam, you know who you are, a film for a VHS release, more details soon, I am going to start dubbing tapes myself and will have the first Void Castle tape batch available in a few months, more details on that soon too, I’m writing a book with one of my best friends, more details on that as well, I can’t remember exactly what the quote was from Jodorowsky’s Endless Poetry about how you will experience great lows and then you will create and create, so yeah. Jodorowsky is right again.
I also changed the format again, I did this last update, some of you may have noticed. I am running out of things to say, not feeling very expressive with words at the moment. I have been having a lot more enjoyment working on the visual collages (sometimes it’s new original recordings/short a/v clips) you see at the end of each encrypted Gregorian day. That may change and I may write more later. Although, sometimes I write into the collages, they are all high res, and large and it should be easy to zoom in on them to read if you want. I am focusing also on thinking of ideas to write about for the aforementioned book one of my best friends and I are working on. I do what feels right. I recommend you do the same.
I hope all these recordings bring any amount of solace to your life whatsoever. They have all brought deep solace to mine.
Much love and peace
My choise for Albvm ov tha gregorian year:
Mania Armed To The Teeth PACrec 138 Troniks TRO-288, CD, 2008
Preview Second Sight HERE
—-I can’t find a preview of this, or any Pyrox recordings for that matter, although, if you know Knurl then you know Alan Bloor behind both Knurl, Pyrox, and a project I have shamefully yet to check out; Pholde. This tape and everything I’ve heard by Knurl, as well as anything on Phage, all have floored me, and everything on this blog comes recommended.
Preview Sostrato HERE
Grant Strombeck (Every video available on THIS website)
Shredded Nerve Reverse Mummification Total Black 81, tape, 2017